There are typically two ways to detail your decision-making process in your agreement: a simple joint decision-making clause or outline a decision-making process. While a simple joint decision-making clause won't specify how you're going to make decisions, just that you're going to make decisions together about important matters and what you'll do if you can't agree.

A decision-making process is always a good idea, particularly if there's any difficulty at all or even little annoyances around communicating. It helps everyone to have a clear plan of communication so that you both understand the expectations.

The decision-making procedure built into Divii is a clear step-by-step process that you can each use and rely on in your parenting communication. The first place to start is to decide whether the issue should be a joint decision.

The first step in any co-parenting decision-making process is determining whether an issue requires joint consideration. Joint decisions typically fall into three categories:

Understanding these categories helps prevent unnecessary discussions while ensuring that truly collaborative decisions receive proper attention from both parents.

When you've identified an issue as a joint decision, the process begins with sending a preliminary message that includes:

This initial message should be brief yet comprehensive, giving the other parent all necessary information to make an informed response. Many co-parents believe they're providing sufficient detail when they're not, which often leads to confusion and avoidance of the decision-making process. So, if you follow this process, you'll be able to make sure that you've got at least the key elements for the other person to respond to.

The receiving parent has specific responsibilities in this process.

Setting default response times within your co-parenting agreement helps maintain momentum and prevents decisions from stalling indefinitely.

When responses are received, one of two outcomes occurs: agreement or the need for further discussion. If there's agreement, the responding parent should confirm in writing. When they don’t agree, they need to respond clearly.

Important to note: Joint decisions do not end in a "no" because neither party has veto power or the authority to respond by refusing. At that point, it’s necessary to work toward resolving the issue that’s been presented.

When disagreement occurs, the responding parent should:

This back-and-forth process continues until both parents reach an agreement. The vast majority of co-parenting decisions are resolved through this collaborative approach, as most parents prefer to avoid the expense and complexity of involving mediators or lawyers in everyday parenting decisions.

So whether they compromise around timing or trying something for a period of time or saying let's talk about it again in six months, there will be a resolution to the issue – but you have to work on it together until you find that solution.

Despite best efforts, there might be times where there won't be an agreement. So, it's important to have a process in place to help you figure out what to do next if you don't agree. Divii will ask you to specify what that process is.

Mediation is typically the most efficient and cost-effective method for resolving co-parenting disagreements. If you don't choose mediation and you go straight to a courtroom, a judge will likely make you turn around and try mediation before they let you book a court time.

While some co-parents feel awkward about using communication templates, especially given their shared history, these tools can significantly improve communication effectiveness. The key is adapting templates to your natural communication style while ensuring all essential elements are included.

"Hey, Alex. Funny to bump into you at the grocery store yesterday. I hope the party that you were heading to was a good time. I wanted to reach out to you about swimming lessons for Avery.

Avery's feeling pretty excited about joining her friend for the lesson, and I think she could use some extra social connection right now. What do you think about enrolling her in swimming lessons at the local rec centre? I looked into it and the class is every Tuesday at 5:00 p.m.

It looks like it costs about $55, so I'll pay $20 and you'd pay $35 based on our child support calculation. But the classes are for eight weeks, so it actually feels like good value to me. Anyway, can you get back to me by Friday because I don't want to miss the registration. Thanks so much for thinking about it. Talk soon."

This example demonstrates how to maintain a casual, friendly tone while including all necessary elements: the issue, feelings and needs, specific proposal details, cost breakdown, timeline, and a very specific proposal that the other person could think about and respond to.

Taking time to establish a comprehensive decision-making process provides several benefits:

The simple act of sitting down together to create this decision making process sets co-parents up for long-term success in ways a simple clause couldn't achieve.

The investment in creating and following a structured decision-making process can help reduce stress with clear communication, and better outcomes for the entire co-parenting relationship. When both parents understand what's expected and have a reliable process to follow, co-parenting decisions become manageable rather than sources of ongoing conflict.